A Solitary Feeling

No matter where I am, I wake up with a solitary feeling. What’s up with that? I’ve been thinking about God a lot lately…I miss Him being an active part of my life. People come in and out of my life constantly…which leads me to believe that no one will ever really stay. I’m kind of traumatized by this, which is probably why I’m so trivial about ever getting married. How can you say forever to someone and know that they won’t go away? You can’t, which is why I like to only think about today and what I’m feeling right now. It never means anything more or anything less than what it is at the moment. It’s weird though, because I want to soo badly believe that there could be something more, something lasting. Until I can find something that is true and permanent, I’ll keep running and I’ll never show anyone my everything. Eventually I’ll get tired of hiding everything I am…maybe then this solitary feeling will subside.